We have to understand that our mobiles are not more important than our friends and family.
Every human being wants to be heard, to be seen, to be valued, and to feel connected to other people. We are caught up in the busyness and deadlines of the present age and the price of such a life is being paid by our relationship.
‘Fabbing’ means ‘phone snubbing’, meaning the process of giving one’s phone priority over others in a social situation. Sadly, this trend has spread all over the world. Research has shown that this process hinders communication, leading to dissatisfaction in relationships and a decrease in individual well-being.
People use mobile phones to reduce stress or take some time off from work and this habit is now becoming an addiction. Statistics available on mobile phone addiction show that 70% of smartphone users keep their phone very close to them when they sleep and therefore they look at their phone first thing when they wake up in the morning.
They also use mobile phones to send and read messages, get news, use social media, watch games, watch videos, listen to music, shop, and hundreds of other things.
It seems that we are helpless in the face of the habit of touching, scrolling, and swiping and this habit has overcome us. Sarah (pseudonym) is a student at York University. When asked about the need to stay in touch with the mobile at all times, he said, “I am afraid that I may be unaware of something. happens’.
We often use emojis when messaging on WhatsApp and use conversations sparingly. We often shy away from long conversations and don’t want to spend too much time understanding people working and living around us. But of course, there will be a simple and easy way to re-engage conversations and dialogues in your life.
The first step is to make us realize that mobile phones have become more important to us than individuals and that this trend needs to change. We cannot allow ourselves to be enslaved to WhatsApp, Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok.
Husbands and wives often complain about not giving each other time. This behavior can lead to feelings of loneliness later on. Maira (pseudonym), 32, is the editor of a magazine. “My husband is so tired after work that he just lies on the couch and prefers to use social media. We rarely talk,” she says.
Obviously, the first step in solving a problem is to identify the problem itself. We need to set a time limit for using social media and adhere to it strictly. When that time is up, remove the screen from your front.
Sociologist Charles Derber, in his book In the Pursuit of Attention, describes the findings of research conducted by researchers on face-to-face conversations. They show how much people try to get the attention of others during the conversation. He says that most people also suffer from narcissism in conversation. They want to be the dominant force in the conversation and their focus.
We must give up trying to dominate others. Instead, we should listen to the person in front of us, show interest in the conversation and try to keep the conversation going through questions. This will make the person in front realize that there is someone who is interested in listening to them.
How many times have you gone out to dinner with a loved one and put your phone on the table? You may be happy that you did not pick up the phone during this time, but the fact is that the presence of this phone on the table is reducing your relationship with the person in front. For business people like 39-year-old Saad (pseudonym), one reason for this behavior may be the timely delivery of important business messages. “This attitude has become my habit and it is very difficult to get rid of it,” he said.
My house is not safe from this behavior either. I myself experience this behavior while eating. Even if my children are not using the phone, they keep the phone close to them while eating. Their attitude indicates that living with family is not enough for them. Eventually, I had to insist that no one would sit at the next dinner table with a phone.
In the same way, our attention is often affected by our own thoughts. For example, we think about what to answer now or what to cook at home. In order to live in the present moment, we have to get rid of the voices around us as well as the voices inside us. Try to start the day with meditation or at least spend a few minutes in silence. Spending some time in silence every morning will help you get organized and happy.
Why Do We Have 2 Ears and One Tongue?
Most importantly, we need to keep realizing that effective communication is a two-way street and that listening is more important than speaking. Maybe that’s why we naturally have 2 ears and one tongue so we can talk less and listen more.
Even after learning the importance of listening, we are losing the art of listening or, as Carl Rogers puts it, active listening. The term means not only listening but also making the person in front of you feel interested in the conversation. At the same time, by observing the subtle and non-verbal gestures in the conversation, one has to understand the things that are not clearly mentioned.
As mentioned earlier, this fast-paced life and the constant presence of mobile and social media in it have limited our attention and patience. We need to start conscious efforts to strengthen our relationship with our loved ones by putting our personal interests above all else. The Corona epidemic has opened our eyes to the importance of relationships and living every moment.
We often want to be heard and talked to. Our hearts long for a relationship. It is because of this relationship that we realize that we are special and important to the billions of people in the world.